October 4, 2003

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    The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words.

    Boss  : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 

    Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

    Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

    Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

    Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

    Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

    Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

    Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

    Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

    Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

    Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

    Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

    Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

    Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

    Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

    Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

    Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

    Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

    Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

    Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

    Miser :  A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

    Father : A banker provided by nature.

    Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

    Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

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